Dumpster dive at your supermarket.

Today is Mardi Gras when we eat up all the scraps of food in big pancakes so we don’t waste good food whilst we’re fasting for the next 40 days to prepare for the coming of the Easter Bunny and his chocolate gifts. Which is a great excuse to go and investigate the amount of food your local supermarket throws away.

Wait for an hour or so after they’ve shut, then head out around the back and find the bins. Be sure to take some strong bags with you to make it easier to carry it all home: if you strike at all, you’ll probably strike it rich.

It’s illegal, of course, but the legal advisory team I just imagined says “fuck that, M’lud, being immoral is clearly worse than being illegal” and goes on to make a rousing speech about how you should be lauded as a hero for undoing these heinous crimes against reason.